WE'RE BACK

Me at the Laundromat... in the a.m.... with no makeup on...
Help!!!

So we're back in North America... most of you know that already. What many of you may not know is that we are technically still traveling. We are still living out of suitcases. All that is about to change. (Thank god, because if it lasted any longer I was going to strangle someone, anyone , the next person to annoy me, which is whoever has the misfortune of speaking to me next.)
We close on our new home July 16th 2008 at 3:30 in the afternoon. Whew.
Karl is enjoying his new job and sees all sorts of eye pathology and is playing with all the fun tools. I even let him practice flipping my lids. He is enjoying the reading a little less. Apparently, socially inept dinosaurs wrote all his text books. Very unfortunate. I, on the other hand have been reading excellent novels in my spare time while applying for jobs that I am not interested in but am applying to none the less out of desperation and lack of inspiration, instruction, or better opportunities. (Depressing, i know.)


Virginia is for Flag Lovers

This is what the license plates and tee-shirts should read (instead of Virginia is for Lovers...get it?). They are obsessed. Clearly, no one cares that the insane amount of flags are a traffic obstruction. Even the City of Norfolk has chosen to decorate her medians with brightly coloured flags. American flags, Welcome flags, pelican flags, ever shitty football team in the ACC flags, and of course NASCAR flags.
Stupid.
Another thing Virginians do that I do not yet understand is put a glass door directly in front of their front door. The only purpose this serves is to make the door and handle incredibly hot and possibly ruin the paint job expeditiously. Also, these doors are heavy, not like your typically light Florida screen door, which I might add serves a purpose, screen doors allow a cross breeze, thank you very much. Imagine this you have two armfuls of groceries in your hands and you have barely managed to retrieve your keys from your bottomless purse when you face the front door, the front door with an extra stupid door on top of it. So you hoist the first heavy glass door open and let is slam against your hip while you fenagle your keys into the actual door which is 180 degrees by this time in the afternoon. The door swings open at last and what bites your ankle? The neighbor obnoxious overpriced mutt with a "designer" name? No! The goddamn glass door whacked you while you stood there too long trying not to drop the eggs.
You can prop these doors open. However this happens to annoy the noisiest woman in the world who cames over after you leave (and sometime while you are home and she just can't take anymore) and shuts the door herself. The same woman will, at a later date, come to your house early in the morning before you have any makeup on under the pretenses of having a nice chat. She will chit chat for an hour before she asks in way that makes you feel retarded if the front door is broken of if you simply don't understand how to shut the door. Bitch! This is the point at which you realize, she only came over to point this out. If I was going over to Her house and opening, closing, vandalizing Her door I could understand her annoyance but it's MY door!!!
Am I turning into Larry David? When did my life turn into a series of events in which I am minding my own business and someone else manages to get involved against my will and makes me want to kill them and then I feel like a jerk for wanting to kill new acquaintances.

Karl after listening to me complain about the weird neighbor.