WE'RE BACK

Me at the Laundromat... in the a.m.... with no makeup on...
Help!!!

So we're back in North America... most of you know that already. What many of you may not know is that we are technically still traveling. We are still living out of suitcases. All that is about to change. (Thank god, because if it lasted any longer I was going to strangle someone, anyone , the next person to annoy me, which is whoever has the misfortune of speaking to me next.)
We close on our new home July 16th 2008 at 3:30 in the afternoon. Whew.
Karl is enjoying his new job and sees all sorts of eye pathology and is playing with all the fun tools. I even let him practice flipping my lids. He is enjoying the reading a little less. Apparently, socially inept dinosaurs wrote all his text books. Very unfortunate. I, on the other hand have been reading excellent novels in my spare time while applying for jobs that I am not interested in but am applying to none the less out of desperation and lack of inspiration, instruction, or better opportunities. (Depressing, i know.)


Virginia is for Flag Lovers

This is what the license plates and tee-shirts should read (instead of Virginia is for Lovers...get it?). They are obsessed. Clearly, no one cares that the insane amount of flags are a traffic obstruction. Even the City of Norfolk has chosen to decorate her medians with brightly coloured flags. American flags, Welcome flags, pelican flags, ever shitty football team in the ACC flags, and of course NASCAR flags.
Stupid.
Another thing Virginians do that I do not yet understand is put a glass door directly in front of their front door. The only purpose this serves is to make the door and handle incredibly hot and possibly ruin the paint job expeditiously. Also, these doors are heavy, not like your typically light Florida screen door, which I might add serves a purpose, screen doors allow a cross breeze, thank you very much. Imagine this you have two armfuls of groceries in your hands and you have barely managed to retrieve your keys from your bottomless purse when you face the front door, the front door with an extra stupid door on top of it. So you hoist the first heavy glass door open and let is slam against your hip while you fenagle your keys into the actual door which is 180 degrees by this time in the afternoon. The door swings open at last and what bites your ankle? The neighbor obnoxious overpriced mutt with a "designer" name? No! The goddamn glass door whacked you while you stood there too long trying not to drop the eggs.
You can prop these doors open. However this happens to annoy the noisiest woman in the world who cames over after you leave (and sometime while you are home and she just can't take anymore) and shuts the door herself. The same woman will, at a later date, come to your house early in the morning before you have any makeup on under the pretenses of having a nice chat. She will chit chat for an hour before she asks in way that makes you feel retarded if the front door is broken of if you simply don't understand how to shut the door. Bitch! This is the point at which you realize, she only came over to point this out. If I was going over to Her house and opening, closing, vandalizing Her door I could understand her annoyance but it's MY door!!!
Am I turning into Larry David? When did my life turn into a series of events in which I am minding my own business and someone else manages to get involved against my will and makes me want to kill them and then I feel like a jerk for wanting to kill new acquaintances.

Karl after listening to me complain about the weird neighbor.

Heavy Metal in Wellington

Wellington, New Zealand
Gonvernment Buildings

The Botanical Gardens...
every city has one.

So, when Karl and I planned our five day trip to the capital, Wellington, we somehow failed to notice that this was Easter weekend AND the Rock to Wellington Concert weekend. Nothing like a town ruled by ancient religious prohibition laws and a bunch of metal freaks dressed for Halloween! Apparently, alcohol sales are prohibited on Good Friday, Easter Sunday, and Easter Monday, unless you order a full meal (appetizers don't count, we tried that). Good thing our fancy hotel had a mini bar. Watching the loyal fans of KISS, Ozzy Osbourne and Alice Cooper is infinitely more fun if one is slightly intoxicated. The booze makes one brave enough to laugh out loud a 50 year old sporting black goth clothes, spikes, and a mohawk while riding his unicycle.


The people watching in Wellington rivals that of South Beach, no small feat.
Oh, in addition to not selling alcohol on the dates mentioned above everything shuts down. A great idea for small shops and boutiques? I still managed to get some productive shopping in on Saturday and Tuesday. We spent the other three days praying. Hahahaha!
Te Papa, the national museum, was surprisingly open on Sunday. We thought that would be the perfect day to go... So did the rest of the town, and why not bring the kids, and the grandchildren (even if they are in strollers and looking at the ceiling fans instead of the exhibits), and nieces and nephews (even if they are teenagers that would prefer to play on the Nintendo DS), etc., at least that was my impression.

The weekend after returning from Wellington, Graeme and Gretchen (our fabulous neighbors) invited us to join them at the Bluff Yacht Club. It is now oyster season here, and they were having a regatta and feast to celebrate. Of course we couldn't pass it up. It was delicious. We both had our fill of oysters and paua (local abalone) among a spread of other delights. Following the dinner I was invited to help crew one of the boats for the following day's races. Again, I couldn't pass it up. The previous day's races were quite exciting including leaning boats, and broken masts. The day that I went out was a little different. Calm, calm, calm. It was still nice to get out and be on the bay in the sun. I had a great time chatting with the skipper (Anders) who is a Swedish man that moved out here after falling in love with a Kiwi. We participated in two races and skill was needed to manage the calm that day to pull off a win. Through the culmination of our combined sailing prowess we managed to pull off a DNS and a DNF. (did not start and did not finish)

SEE THE REST OF OUR PHOTOS HERE

Funny That...

The Sea Lions think it is warm enough for sun bathing

Hi Friends! Thank you all so very much for all the warm wishes and congratulations. We are both excited to come home and celebrate with you. Our plan, so far, is a wedding in May or July 09 in Florida. We have been too busy to plan further than this, stay tuned... The busy bit includes Karl preparing to start his ophthalmology residency, finding a place to live in Norfolk and mapping out our trip back across the states.

The Kiwis continue to prove their insanity by insisting this is the nicest summer they have had n Southland in the past twenty years. Quite frankly, if it was any worse than this I would have booked us both tickets home by now. A few nice sunny days does not make up for freezing rain and wind in the middle of "summer" Even summers I have spent in Canada did not require sleeping with an electric blanket.
Karl has been spending a fare amount of time trying to teach Lucky how to speak. He made him "the Lucky soundtrack" which consists of a few words and simple tunes (i.e. pop goes the weasel) which we play for him while we are at work. Nothing so far. Hopefully, the family taking him when we leave will have better luck. I just hope Lucky isn't waiting until we leave the country to start repeating things we said. I can only imagine.
I have been working at my new job at the hospital as, Patient Support Facilitator which translates to Complaints department. I have come to the conclusion that about 89.99% of people who file complaints are clinically insane, mentally handicapped, or just plain mean spirited...oh or liars, I nearly forgot about the liars! Understandably and unfortunately, this makes people with legitimate complaints look questionable. Perhaps I shouldn't post this until I have left the country???

Last weekend Karl and I took a Sunday drive out to the Caitlins to see the other Niagara Falls. There is a cafe out there that we love, so it wasn't a complete waste of time. We also walked through the petrified forest. We took a bunch of photos there and then realized in the photos the fossils look exactly like regular rocks. Near the petrified forest we came across a sea lion basking in the sun. I thought she was dead until she threw her flippers in the air and made those sea lion noises people try and imitate with consistent failure. You know the one, the noise accompanied by hand gestures and when they're finished some wise ass always, "can you do that again?" Sunday drives are never uneventful here in Southland.

Oh! I nearly forgot to ask you all to do a couple of things for us for our return!
Please:
Be ready to celebrate, chill the champagne now!
Arrange for nice hot weather through May and June.
Have Mr. Bush impeached and imprisoned before we get back.
Get ready to show us all your pictures and tell us your stories we have missed over the past 9 months.

New Kiwi things we have learned:
#1 It is not cool to have red hair. Even auburn hair is unacceptable. You will called "a ginger" in the South this is pronounced similarly to the word "gingham" so more like "gingh - eh". You should probably die your hair before visiting. There are several other derogatory words used to describe red head which I will not repeat here. (But I will totally tell you all about it when I get home!)
#2 Chockers means full. As is, "the Swamp was chockers at the last Gator game"

Kiwi Decorating

We're Getting Married!

Karl and Katie are engaged!

Karl surprised me on my birthday with a beautiful piece of jewelry which he designed himself. Minutes after arriving in beautiful (and warm) Port Douglas, Australia, we went for a walk around town. While strolling through a park by the Coral Sea we stopped under a banyan tree where I was presented with my birthday present...a cook book. Upon opening the book I realized all the pages had been glued together and a hole was cut in the center. Inside the space was a silk bag. And in that bag was the ring... The rest is a bit of blur with lots of YES being said. We are thrilled to pieces.


We cannot wait to get home and celebrate with all of you so when we get home act all excited again like you just found out, and open some bubbly.

We Had a great time on our trip to Australia. Besides getting engaged, we snorkeled the Great Barrier Reef, relaxed by the pool, tasted some wine in the Marlborough region (back in NZ), took a beautiful train ride up the east coast of the south island, and stopped in to look at the Wearable Arts Museum.

Click HERE to see our photos from Australia, Chirstchurch, Nelson and Blenheim.

Fishing and Hunting

Meet Chris and Steve. These two guys took me on the most fruitful fishing trip on which I've ever been. During this time, they continued to tell me how bad of a day of fishing it was. So, for those of you out there that like to fish, come on down to southern new Zealand.

We had a beautiful (but quite early) boat ride out of Bluff harbor. Steve proceeded to navigate Northwesterly at a brisk pace to get to "three rocks" and "two tons". The prior having an appropriate name for the three rocks sticking out of the water, and the later name given by a local fisherman. This fisherman had three favorite spots to fish, they were named "half ton", "one ton" and "two tons" which was the amount of fish that he'd caught at each site. Two ton's has no land marking the area so you have to know were it is from the locals.


I did very well at "two tons." Getting the two largest catches of the day (on one line!).

Steve didn't do as well.

Still, we all went home with about 25 lbs of filleted New Zealand Blue Cod. It's pretty tasty stuff.

Feasting on the big catch of the day!

See more of our fishing trip HERE.

The next weekend, we all went on another exiting outdoor adventure. Welcome to the the best dam tailgate camping you've ever experienced! Want to be in the middle of the great outdoors with no one else around? Want to hike along an alpine mountain ridge and into a lush forest all at the edge of your campsite? Still want to have bacon and eggs for breakfast and hors d'oeurves before your dinner? Well that's what going hunting/camping with Steve Brown is all about. Thanks Steve! A man's paradise.



This time the trip included Mark, Juliet's brother. Mark was the cook responsible for all the wonderful meals we had while tucked away from the rest of the world. You'd be surprised what this guy can do with a pressure cooker, a camping pot and brie. Thanks Mark! He also set up the tent while the rest of us got a helo ride to the top of the mountain. Way to take one for the team Mark.


Chris was the victorious hunter for this expedition. During our adventure, there were five sighted dear, and four shots fired, two of which made contact. Both were from Chris's riffle. We won't talk about the other two shots. Anyway, because of Chris and his generosity, everyone was able to go home with some venison. Thanks Chris.


While on the ridge we were visited by a native parrot called a kea. These parrots are the equivalent of a beautiful sunset of colors combined with an annoying two-year-old personality. Very curious and very loud. They don't have much fear of man and would come within three feet of us. They also had a fascination with anything new to them, including Steve's riffle.


Hiking along the ridge line was sparse, dry, and covered mostly by the local tussock grass. Very steep and we had our share of frightening slides. Thankfully, short... but still scary. But there were absolutely incredible views from the tops of the mountains. Looking out for miles without seeing a sign of civilization.

Our campsite was just to the far left of the clearing below.

Hiking through the forest was difficult at times. I was very thankful for my gators (for those who don't know, these are leggings that cover the tops of your boots and the bottom of your pants). Aside from the occasional (narrow, short lived and without good head clearance) dear track, there were no trails and it was thick with vegetation and deep with mud. Still there were a few areas that it would open up just enough to let the sunlight reach through. These were beautiful scenes.

I've tried to capture a few of them for you in pictures, but they never do the scenery justice. It was an incredible weekend and will be a very memorable experience.

To see more of the hunting/camping photos click HERE.

Ugly Pants & Shopping with Karl

I would like to take this time to complain about a camping trip we have not yet been on. Karl and I are going to hike the Kepler Trek and sleep in one the Department of Conservation huts (which sounded fine until I found out at that we were not the only campers spending the night...nothing like a hut full of smelly strangers wearing ugly pants!) . I had to buy actual hiking pants. ARE THEY MADE OF GOLD? I spent a $100.00 (that is after 50% off) on the most hideous pair of pants in the world, or at least the most hideous pair in my closet. They have elastic in the waistband and I'm supposed to wear them in public. Great. Does anyone know why on Earth I would need 9 pockets and three zippers on one pair of pants?
In the end I too will be a smelly stranger in ugly pants. I'll get back to you.



Okay, so, we're back. Just as I suspected, smelly strangers in ugly pants myself included. Camping was reminiscent of being grounded, or those family trips my parents took my sisters and me on in junior high where we were supposed to get along out in the middle of nowhere North Carolina with nothing to do...except fight over nothing it turned out. Anyway, they turn the lights out at 10:00 pm in these huts when the sun is still up and everyone just goes to bed. The rain and sand flies (which bite, by the way) kept Karl & me in the hut, sitting there like jackasses trying to read in the dusky light. We gave up and went to bed. The huts are allegedly a step up from tent camping as they have mattresses on the bunks, which sounds great but the mattresses (aka glorified yoga mats) are coated in plastic. Every time one moves, all other campers know about it. Of course, I suddenly cannot help wiggling as if I suddenly came down with restless leg syndrome. I think the other campers hate the snoring German more than me, Madame Twitchy.
I hope you all get a good laugh out of these photos. Like the pants?


I know it has been some time since I've chimed in. But at this point Katie, believe it or not, is over reacting. I feel I have to rebut her statements. Most of the reports are true. Its true that we went "on a camping trip." It started with a grueling 90 minute hike that had a daunting incline totaling 50 feet. The hut, which along with soft (but yes, plastic) mats, has running water, electricity, gas stoves and flushing toilets. When we arrived there after the walk (which was burdened by the forest covered path, light breezes and singing birds), we relaxed along the shore of the beautiful Lake Manapouri. Along with all the other hardships, Katie and I shared a bottle of wine on the deck of the hut listening to a light rain that came through in the evening. It was so oppressive that we had no option but to stay the night. Our room was shared by three other campers, all were dressed in everyday casual attire, not the yuppie, zip-off pants that both Katie and myself were wearing. Oh and they did smell... of soap and deodorant (remember, bathrooms with running water...) The other man in the room did snore, but Katie did not realize this until I told her two days later. After such a dreadful night, we walked one more hour further into the interior of this hellish scene. More trees, more lake views, hideous walks along creeks and towering mountains surrounding us. After all of this we retreated back to the closest town of Te Anau for a gourmet meal and drinks. It may have been the worst idea I've ever come up with in my life. Katie will be scared for the rest of her life. Enjoy the pictures.


We are off on Holiday next month to Port Douglas, Australia to snorkel the Great Barrier Reef and see the Daintree Rainforest, oh and to stay in a posh hotel with a bar in the pool. Hooray for bars in the pool! In preparation for this trip I thought it would be fun to get a new bathing suit (men's bathing suits are called togs FYI). I tricked Karl into helping me by asking him to bring me a pair of shorts back to the dressing room. So easily fooled! Then, I tried on 14 bikinis and told him to pretend he was Ali and just let me talk about what was wrong with each suit from every angle. (Remember, it is always the suit that is wrong.) Karl was very sweet and very careful. These are not useful attributes in the bikini shopping department. I need honesty, and an elongated mirror that makes me look tall. Is that so much to ask?
Here's a fun Kiwi anti-shop lifting tactic; they pin the top of the bathing suit to the bottom. It may be to prevent people from swapping sizes, which is just rude and humiliating. Who wants to be the lady with the top or bottom a couple sizes too big or too small? Not smart marketing.
Anyway, it is super annoying to try on a top with the bottoms pinned to the middle of one's chest. "How does this one look?" "Um, really stupid actually, is that a matching hanky?."

This photo is irrelevant to any of the above rantings. I just crack up every time I see these signs for bargain horse shit. This is one of my favorites.
Cheers,
Katie & Karl
Click HERE to see more pics, not as many as the last blog don't worry.